Create.

While we wanted to tie this difficult year up in a pink or blue bow, announcing our pregnancy at Christmastime, plans changed as we were dealing with our second miscarriage. 

What a year this has been.

There are moments in this year that will shine brightly, but for me, this has been a year of lament, and 2021, at least the beginning of it, will continue in that spirit.

Lament is a difficult season for Christians to be in – we don’t like to feel bad for long – but I know that God is going to do something in our lives if we open the doors and create the space.

If we create the space.

Every year I choose a word of the year. Something to work towards, strive for, aspire to. 

 

My word of the year for 2020 was “grace.”

I wanted to feel God’s grace in my life.

I wanted to have grace for myself.

I wanted to have grace for people in my life.

Little did we know, 2020 would need a lot of grace. I learned a lot about myself through the process of receiving, having, and giving grace. 

This year, my intention and word of the year is “create.”

I find when I am in a creative space (tapping into my healthy enneagram 7) I am the best version of myself. When I journal, blog, create workouts, read, garden I just feel better. I feel secure. I feel refreshed. I feel renewed.

As I processed this new intention, I prayed for scripture and guidance in this new year. Something to help drive home this new journey towards creating. 2020 has been a difficult year, with a huge amount of loss, and the pain I experienced was inexplicable. I look towards 2021, with hope that God will allow this opportunity of “creating” in my life as a means for healing and, in this desperate cry to God, this scripture came to mind: 

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Psalm 51:10

At first I questioned this choice in scripture, because the good youth group girl in me immediately thought of this scripture being used to promote abstinence before marriage. However, the more I read and prayed about it, the more it captured the spirit and intention of this coming year.

Create in me a clean heart, one that is not wiped of the hardship of the last year, but purified in your love to continue forward.

Renew a steadfast spirit in me, because this year has completely done me in.

Keep close to me, because I feel so far from Your goodness.

Restore joy in my life through knowing that You are who You say You are, and You will continue to do what You say You will do.

I am ready to see what 2021 has in store. I am ready to create opportunities to grow and change. 2021 will have its hardships, as they are a part of life, but as we look to the new year, I hope you can find a sense of hope and purpose and the joy it will bring.