Standing in the Sun

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 Have you ever thought about how important the sun is?

I’ve always loved the warmth of the sun on my skin. I love the “golden hour,” where the sun hits so perfectly on the Earth and makes things beautiful. The sun provides so many good things for us, but really until we planted our garden this year, I’ve never taken the time to think about how truly important the sun is for the Earth.

 

Don’t worry, I’m not about to give a lesson on photosynthesis.  (But Amelia can tell you about it, her shirt taught her!)


One of our little blunders in our garden was that we definitely overcrowded one of our beds and our peppers got “leggy,” meaning they had to grow taller than normal in order to seek the sun.


We kept a seedling in our window when we couldn’t seem to get our basil growing well outside. We loved watching it grow toward the sun. We’d turn it the other direction, just to watch it shift directions back towards the window. It was as if it was reaching out for more.

 

Sean and I have analyzed and mapped out future placement of our fall and next spring garden over and over so that the plants get the sunshine they need to grow.  

 

All of this thinking about the sun has made me also think about how important it is to have hope in our life as we are growing. Like our oddly tall pepper, I feel like lately I’ve grown up, up, up, and finally found myself able the feel the warmth of God’s light once more.

 

These last couple of months have been a challenging time for me. A month ago, I felt like I had this deep, internal scream that was just wanting to come out. I had constant physical reminders that I wasn’t pregnant anymore, I had the deep emotional heartache that continued to persist, and let me tell you…I feel like Amelia entered toddlerhood with a very loud and strong-willed bang. Life felt so dark and tiring, and I honestly saw very little “light” around. I felt completely consumed by wanting to be pregnant again, I just needed to get back what I lost. The cycle of heartache felt unending.

 

Tearfully and angrily, I desperately told God, “I either need to get pregnant again right away, or you need to take this desire away right now.”

 

I don’t feel bad for giving God this ultimatum-like demand. Like I said previously, God was hurting for me, God was hurting with me. My broken heart broke His heart. If we can’t come to God with complete honesty, who then? I think God understood my heart in this request. I was angry. I was hurt. I was desperate.

 

About a month later it really seemed like all of a sudden, I wasn’t consumed by the darkness anymore. Quite literally, I woke up one day and said, “I think God answered my prayer.”                                                                                                                                       

Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." (Hosea 6:3)


On the first day, God created light, and he separated it from darkness (Genesis 1: 3-5). He is a God of light. Find comfort in knowing that this God that calls that sun to rise and fall is the same God that knows your heart deeply and intimately.  Don’t be afraid to ask God for the things you feel your heart desperately needs. Don’t be afraid to boldly approach the throne, even in your anger, your hurt, your disappointment. We have a God who is not easily offended. We have a God who wants to answer your prayers.

 

If I’ve learned anything in these last months, even when the clouds cover the sun, we can still feel it’s warmth. Even when the rains come, the rain produces growth. As surely as the sun is behind the clouds and the rain that falls brings forth new life, God is working in our lives. God may be working quietly and quickly like he did in my own life recently, or maybe He’s sowing some seeds and watching them grow slowly, but all the same, He is working.

 

Don’t go and look directly at the sun or anything like that, but I encourage you to take a few moments and bask safely in the sunshine. 


Feel the warmth. 

Feel the goodness it is providing for the Earth. 

Feel the goodness it is providing for you.

                                               

                                          


Just for fun, here is a song that has been a favorite lately...it's a tear jerker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXb7-WommBY

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