Changing Seasons

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I’m not sure I’ve been so excited to see the seasons change. Something stirs inside me as I zip up my sweater in the mornings and watch the leaves fall to the ground. My heart is longing for change.

I’m ready for our Fall garden to start producing. I think I’m probably more eager to see what blooms and grows in this Fall garden then I was for the Spring/Summer garden. What will grow in the cooler temps? What will grow in the shorter, darker days?

As stressful and busy as the Holiday season can be, I’ve always found that my soul and spirit becomes quieter around Thanksgiving into the New Year. I think that is why I’ve been longing for the seasons to change. My heart is ready for that quiet place.  I’m finding the intentions of daily life turning inwards, reflecting, finding grace.

This year has been a lot. So much sadness and grief surround the year for me. The pandemic aside…things happened this year that were deeply wounding. I’m reminded of the scripture that was read at Sean and my wedding, Ecclesiastes 3, “A Time for Everything.”

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens (3:1)

We knew that in and through our marriage, we would experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but that God would be present in it all. Little did we know, that many of those highest highs and lowest lows would be all in one year.

Grief is a tricky thing, you can’t go around it, you can’t go over it, you’ve got to go through it. It’s easy to ignore grief when your little baby all of a sudden starts walking and running. It’s easy to ignore when the sun is shining and you are running around outside. It’s easy to ignore when the days are long and busy.

What happens to our hearts and minds when the days slow down? 
The days become shorter? 
The nights become longer?

Grief uprooted my year, but God has replanted me.

I try and remember, though, that Jesus suffered for my suffering. Jesus died for the feeling of brokenness in my heart. Jesus rose for the renewing of my soul. While this is not what I want, God is providing what I need.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (3:11)

Despite it being a painful year, so much goodness surrounds us. We look for the little moments. We eagerly wait in hope for what comes next. We hold on to each other more tightly and lovingly than before. 

Sometimes, you have to uproot and replant. 
Sometimes you have to let go of the expectations you had before. 
Sometimes you have to be surprised by what’s growing. 





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